Sometimes I Just Want to Scream.

Today was....odd.  It started out great, with the exception of waking up at like 4 and the inability to go back to sleep until a decent hour.  I went out to the Farmer's Market - they have a craft fair on the first Saturday of the month and I'm thinking about submitting to have a booth at one of the months later in the summer.  Anyway, I perused the farmer's market and then ran over to JoAnn's until the mini flea'n'tique market opened.  All morning that I was out running around, I only spent some money to get a Wandering Jew plant and some fabrics from JoAnn's.  Not bad for me at all!  haha

This afternoon?  Well, I finally got a mini nap, but then as I was awake but still laying down my phone rang a bunch & I got a couple of texts.  It was J.  We haven't really talked for weeks - WEEKS - but all of a sudden he is calling and telling me that he is a few miles down the road and wants to come visit me.  We talked about a bunch of stuff.  A bunch.  Then he proceeded to let me know that he is pretty much ready to settle down, but that he doesn't want to quite yet.  Um.  Ok.  We, he and I, have a very good way of talking circles around each other.  We will say one thing about wanting to settle down or find someone to love, and then we will totally contradict that by saying something about how much we love being single.  Then, right before he left, he said something about how he could tell I was sad....how I seemed lonely.  This was after he stated earlier that he was lonely and was surprised he had been single for as long as he had been.  I just wanted to scream, "what the hell are we doing?"  But, I didn't.  Now I just want to text it to him....

But I won't.

I'm a bad blogger.

I know.  I missed Bookworm Wednesday.  Again.  I'm scheduling them this weekend.  I promise! 

I've just been dealing with a lot of "real life" stuff.  Depression is funny monster with me, but I will get into that and all the changes going on later. 

How about I share some pictures from the shoot I did with my pregnant-but-all-belly sister?

Let's get real.

Life isn't always book reviews & cute farm animals.  This week was an intense reminder of that fact.

Hay days are HELL on a farm.  You spend the first day running around fields opening and closing gates and making sure the grass is dry enough to not mold when it is cut, and making sure the ground is hard enough around the ponds so that the tractors don't sink and get stuck.  Hopefully you will have a four wheeler or some other vehicle to get you around when you live on 17 acres.  That is, unless you break that four wheeler.  Then you spend an hour trying to fix it before your dad gets home.  And you try to fix it while you're crying from stress & anxiety about life in general and this four wheeler has some how become the manifestation of all your issues that you're trying to deal with at the time. 

That week when your work schedule changes FOUR times.  Yeah, that isn't a fun week.

That same week you get called to house sit the day before you're due to be there.  That weekend away will be your third weekend away....you haven't spent longer than four nights in a row in your bed in almost a month.  (don't take your bed for granted people!!)

Those days when all you want is to work on your store or shop but you spend days, evenings, and nights working on items for everyone else under the sun.  Gifts are great until they become a chore, then you should step away from them.  Oh, and that fun store stuff that you want to work on....make sure that doesn't feel like the chore. 

I just kinda hit a wall today.  Well, this whole damn week.  I'm just kind of done with a lot of things. 

Bookworm Wednesday!

So, there isn't a shortage of love for Sunflower Yarns on my end.  It is by far my favorite yarn, like ever!  Well, I'm a part of the Sunflower Yarns group on Ravelry and we started a book club this month!

Our first book is Pride & Prejudice!  I know I've started this at some point, but I don't ever remember finishing it.  I'm excited to get into Elizabeth's story and Mr. Darcy's dashing tales!  That's about all the I know so far about the book haha, have you read it?  What did you think?  Do you ever reread the classics like this? 

Such is life.....

So, I wake up, reach for my glasses and they are not where I left the night before.  I don't get out of bed, I crawl around the edge looking over to see where they are so I don't step on them....I finally find them and put them on, but the world is still blurry.  I seriously was freaking out!  I thought something was wrong with my eye!!  Nope, Elroy has some how lost one of the lenses and I CAN'T find it!  I have torn my room apart and it is no where that I can see.  UGH!  I was already planning on putting my contacts in today but still!  If anyone would like to come help me search some more, that's be great!  haha

Yesterday I worked on a new product for the shop.  A sunglass case!  I'm tweaking it all a bit, the cover will be attached differently, the closure will be - well - centered haha, and I'm re-doing the fleece on the inside so things aren't quite as bulky but it is still safe for glasses.

Fabrics I'm currently playing with.  These will be adult double-sided headbands :)

Random funny picture....what happens when you're trying to get in the house carrying a ton of bags full of wickedly heavy fabric, your purse, your lunch (with a drink!) and your phone?  A totally random phone picture that you don't remember taking! 

Kittehhhhhhs!

Why, yes, it is spring at the farm....

Confessions.

(I know Usher just popped into your head, right?  haha)

I forgot Bookworm Wednesday.  Again.  oops.  I promise to be better next week.

I've been home since Monday and still haven't unpacked.  Oh well.

I have spent entirely wayyyy too much money on Etsy in the past two days.  I just can't pass up great deals on fabric and I also may be shopping for Christmas already.

My trip was definitely inspiring in so many ways.  But, since we're being honest, my biggest fear is that now that we've met in person, I'm afraid that my ldb won't be friends with me anymore.  I know this sounds incredibly silly, but I'm an insanely insecure person that just wants people to like me haha

I finally broke down and bought some books on how to make bags.  It is officially time to expand Scarlett Key into more sewn items.  And I couldn't be more excited. 

I think I hit a good stride at work, I've made peace with just about everyone and I am comfortable there now.  I think.... ;)

Stepping in the right direction....

One of my goals for 2012 was to start sponsoring other blogs....well.  I took the plunge.

I bought an ad on Susannah's blog.  I've followed it for ever and I'm so happy that my little shop is there on the side! :) 

Fresh.

Ink.

haha

please ignore my cracked heels, they need done so so so bad, but now will wait until I'm fully healed haha

There were a handful of things that I *knew* I wanted to do while I was in Jersey.  One of those things?  Getting a new tattoo.  I know I've mentioned before how much I love quotes - I mean, I already had two of them....both are quotes that I have loved for a long long long time.  This quote is no different....Completely random side note, I swear I saw this on Kaelah's blog at some point & I searched and searched and searched and even chatted with her on Twitter about it, but I can not find where I originally saw this posted, I am determined to figure it out if I have to go back through all the blogs I read haha....

Any whooooooo, I saw this picture at some point last year and fell in love.  It was my background on my lap top, it was on my screen saver, it was everywhere.  And the words felt like they had been written on my soul the first time I read them (well, after I looked up "begets" - "to cause; produce as an effect: a belief that power begets power").  Something I struggle with is loving myself enough to love someone else and loving myself enough to let someone love me. 

I no longer have the original source so if you know where it is, please let me know so I can update this! 

I've known I wanted something on my left ankle, well, ever since I did my right ankle and these three little words just fit.....and I'm so so so so in love.  


The tattoo was done at Body Graphics in Pennsauken, NJ by Tina Marie - honestly, the first woman to tattoo me and she was the best!  Definitely made me feel at ease with everything about the whole experience! 

The pic Tina took riiiiight after it was done :)

Another random side note....Camille, my ldb that I was visiting, wrote a good post about judging bloggers & my visit, go leave her some love :)