Dear Life: Stop getting in my way please.

That would be part of my haul from the Borders store closing.  I hate that one of my favorite stores is closing, but I *love* *love* *love* a good deal.  Everything in the store today was $1.99 or less.  And, yes, that huge cook book in the left column was a $50 book!  On another note, I need to stop shopping.  Not kidding.

I found out yesterday that my unemployment, while I feel is justified, is getting appealed.  Not cool Sally.  Not cool at all.  I'm not one of the people that is abusing the system here people!  I'm legit trying to find a job and I feel that my job was taken from me unjustly (and the unemployment office already agreed with me once about that...).  That is my life, I'm trying to deal with it, but now I feel like my side of things is not getting heard at all.  I'm just a little 25 year old that is fighting against a company that is over 75 years old and over 500 employees strong.  That doesn't seem very fair to me, but I will be damned if I don't go down fighting my little heart out.  I'm a tough cookie.

On another note, I need some advice.  My grandmother passed away last month, my mom's mom.  Now I've been fiercely protective of my mom since her first heart surgery way back when I was a scared eight year old asking daddy why mommy couldn't get out of bed.  There have been excessive issues arising with my aunt about the whole situation.  At what point should I stop letting my mom attempt to ignore the situation and step up to help her deal with it?  Or is it even my place to do so? 

I Promise....

....I'm still here!  I just had to deal with some stuff that is rather deep and taking all of my attention at this point.  I will update soon, probably tonight actually....wanna hear how Maximus came into my life?  I think I want to share his sweet sweet story next :)

Life's little disappointments....

I have had this idea bouncing around in my head for a little while and have been debating on if I really want to put it out there, but after the news I got this morning, I think I should.  Maybe someone will happen upon this post and will be able to relate....oh!  And if you do relate (or just happen upon this...) *PLEASE* *PLEASE* *PLEASE* post a comment, I would love to get to know you!

Let's start in the beginning.  On March 1st, I parted ways with my employer.  There were extensive issues leading up to it that I'd rather not go into in such a public place, but regardless of blame, it happened.  I had a complete breakdown, I mean, full on anxiety attack as I'm trying to drive back home---while on the phone with my mom (my momma will always be the first person I call....always).  I ended up not going straight home, I stopped by to see one of my dearest friends who happened to be an old boss of mine.  She gave me a lot of insight into the situation.  I had all these feelings of not being good enough, not being what someone needed me to be and that's all I really strive for in life, to be the one that is the right person for any situation.  Yes, I'm that girl.  I have always been, and always will be that girl.  I remember the first thing I said to my mom was "I just tried so hard and it wasn't enough, I wasn't good enough."

Sometimes, looking back, I think the instant anxiety came not only from having no idea where to go or what to do, but also from what I knew could be ahead of me.  My father was unemployed for over two years, and during that time my mother had two different surgeries and also left her job.  My brother also lost his job and then found himself with a pregnant wife (which eventually led to a very sick newborn).  We were a DHL family (if you're unfamiliar with that situation, google it) I saw what that did to them and hated that I might have to go through that myself.  I didn't think I was strong enough.  Didn't think I was prepared at all for something like that.  Granted, I wasn't pregnant and didn't have a family relying on me, but I was still upset at the prospect of what could be.

After getting home, I got determined.  I got mad.  I started looking for work instantly, and applied for unemployment.  Some places I have heard from, some I have not.  But I put in at least five applications that first day.  And more the second.  And the third.  And so on.....I *never* thought I would hit a month of unemployment.  Never!  I had poured my heart and soul into a job that I adored, didn't that count for something?  Apparently in a world that seems to value a degree above work experience, it didn't.  That has been one of the biggest issues I've run into.  Instead of going to college right out of high school, I poured myself into work.  That's how I was raised, you put yourself wholly into the task at hand.  My task was my job.  I was the girl that was always available for my employer and that meant not forcing them into working with any type of school schedule like so many of my co-workers.

So, the point to the story is....I have no idea what to do right now.  I'm over a month unemployed.  Thankfully I had a sudden build up of savings and, while I had to fight a little bit for it, my unemployment does cover my bills completely.  I'm trying to stay positive, but it is hard considering I was told this morning that I was not qualified for a job that literally was just pushing patients around a hospital.  This girl, the one that has over six years of customer service & finance & management experience and also in the process of getting a B.S. in Psychology is *not* qualified to push people from point a to point b. 

The other point to the story might be that I'm pissed off.  Any help, guidance, words of encouragement are highly welcome. 

My two homes

I was thinking this morning that I need to explain something before I get too far into this thing...I have two homes.  Well, I don't own them both, but you will understand in a bit....

This is my parents' farm.  I adore this place but would probably slit my wrists if I had to live there full time again.  They have over 17 acres of beautiful hilly countryside that is home to many wonderful things that hold my heart.  On the farm we have these animals:
~ My three dogs: Cody, Maximus, and Bryant
~ My mom and dad's dogs: Shithead, Winston, Pup, Emma
~ One of my brother's dogs: Bear
~ About a million and a half cats, but some do have name (here's a short list...): Mama cat, Squeaker, Fuzz, Lily, Socks, Whitey, Amanda & Andrea (yes, my mom named two of the sisters after my sister and I...)....there are seriously so many more that I can't even remember right now, someday I will take a picture of them all together.
~ Horses (eee!): Rumby, T, Angel, Beevy, Salem, and Sam.....granted these are all barn names, horses actually have a very fancy "real" name that goes on their papers, ie - Beevy's name is actually Fadhl's Fearless Rose.

This is where I go when I need to check out for a little bit, I get horrible cell service and spend a lot of time outside when I'm there.  I go out in the back fields on the 4wheeler and just stop thinking for a bit.  It is delightful when I need it.....

....And this.  This is my true home (and Elroy...haha).  This is the view from my couch in my apartment, usually with El on my lap in some fashion (for a cat, he sure is needy but more on that in his post later).  It has some of my favorite things ever in it.  All my pictures all over the walls, most of my books (yes, that is two full book shelves you can see there, and I've even gotten more since then!).  My antique mirror.  My cement elephant that is like a foot tall.  My Eiffel Tower obsession - I can think of like ten pieces of Eiffel Tower art/sculpture in my apartment right now.  My ivy plant that I have literally had since I was in high school, that plant has moved with me from my childhood home to the farm to my first apartment back to the farm and now is here with me!  And soooooo many more things!

This is my space, my home, my stuff and I love it way more than I loved my first apartment.  I honestly felt like I was meant to live here when I did my first walk thru and I am HIGHLY hesitant to ever move out if I don't have to.

(if anyone can tell me how to turn this, I'd be ever grateful!)

Soooooo, now when I say I'm on the farm, hopefully you will understand a little bit more! :)

Butterfinger Minis? Yes, please!

I have a profound love of "minis"....Reese Mini, Butterfinger Mini, Hershey Mini.  I don't hate on any of them....I love them all equally.  No really.....ever wanna buy me something?  Buy me something mini.  I will love you forever.

Love me, love my babies....but Cody is my #1

My love.  My heart.  Where he is will always be my home.  Yes, I'm kinda in love with him, but he's been the constant in my life for almost 11 years (holy monkeys!).

Cody goes by many nicknames in my family, including: Cody-butt, Code, Toady, Bubby, and so many more that I can't even think of right now....

We got him when he was just 6 weeks old, and that's when that picture was taken.  I remember I was working the day my mom brought him home.  There was a pool down the street from our home that I grew up in and all three of us kids worked at it one time or another but I worked there each summer from 14 to 18.  The day he came to us my brother and I were both working and my mom and sister had gone to a horse show.  Well, apparently my sister saw a huge box of puppies for sale, and being the puppy loving people that we are, of course she went to pick one up.  Also, being the savers that we are, she of course, went to the runt first.  Well, Jack Russell puppies (and dogs for that matter) are very wiggly and kind of all over the place.  Cody wriggled out of my sister's hands and he fell about three-ish feet....on to his face....and broke both his top and bottom jaws right under his nose.  At that point, the lady said that they had to *buy* him, well, since they didn't have the full $350 to pay for him with them, they gave what they had (roughly $100 in cash) and brought the broken goods home.

Instead of going right home, they brought Cody to the pool and the moment I will hopefully never forget happened....Trevor and I were sitting on the long red bench just outside the building doors watching the pool during a break (all the kids were out of the pool so we really were not watching too terribly much...) when mom and Amanda came walking in and around the corner.  My mom walked in first, my sister just behind her holding a little balled up towel close to her chest.  She handed me that towel and my heart was gone....a little wet, black nose poked through and my heart flew right out of my chest.  He could fit in the palms of my hands as you can kind of see in the picture.

We have had our ups and downs as most Jack owners do.  He has arthritis in his front paws when he jumped out of a second story bedroom window.  His teeth are kinda wonky from the broken jaw thing.  He is allergic to grass/hay/etc but loves being outdoors (he lives on Benadryl allllllll summer long).  His nails, well, some of them are white and some are black -- the black ones are the ones he has managed to rip out and they've grown back black.  He gets horrendous car sickness so he is pretty much farm bound for the rest of his life. 

And now, well now come the **adorable** pictures of my love!

Let's start with an "About Me," shall we?

That is a) my favorite pair of shoes that I own and b) probably my favorite tattoos that I have currently.  The star on the top was my very first tattoo, it is actually taken from the twinkle of a star tattoo, and I adored that tiny little twinkle more than the star itself; that's kind of me though, usually the support person that makes everyone and everything around me just a little stronger/brighter if I can.  I got it Labor Day weekend, September, 2003...the first weekend my best friend at the time came home from college for the first time and we went to the parlor on a whim....No plan.  No thought.  No ideas.  We just went, and I wouldn't change that experience for the world and I will *never* cover that one up.  The quote is: ad astra per aspera....I used to write it all over the place when I was younger and just adore the meaning -- to the stars through trials.  I believe in it hardheartedly.  It is the epitome of my life, I will reach what I'm supposed to in life; no matter how hard life may get, I will be where I'm supposed to be someday.  The initials just beneath the quote are HJ, they are those of my best friend that passed away on Halloween 2008.  I will never forget the phone call, never.  I may come back to that experience later (...it was probably the oddest/hardest thing ever to say goodbye to the person that was most like me in the world, I mean, even our birthdays are just 10 days apart...), but she was my best friend (I get extremely close to my true friends, so you will hear "best friend" a lot through this thing...) and I will forever have her initials, in her handwriting, on my ankle with a quote that also truly describes her and her pain that she dealt with so bravely. 

Well, now that you know a little about my life, let's back up a second haha
My name is Andrea, I'm turning 26 on May 5th of this year (woohoo, Cinco de Mayo baby!  Ironic tho, I took French and not Spanish....).  I'm the youngest of three and my parents are still together after almost 36 years together.  Sounds ideal, right?  Not always, my family had definitely had its bumps, but all they do is throw us together and we come out stronger.  I'm the aunt to the most *adorable* little booger butt, Bryce...

We started here with him, August 26th, born via emergency c-section at about 32-33 weeks.  He was a little over three pounds in this picture, and when I first saw him in the NICU I broke down, absolutely cried my little eyes out, but my brother, ever the strong one for me (and most of our family) was there, and didn't leave his son for the most of Bryce's 5 week stay in the hospital.  (whoa, holy run-on, sorry!).

BUT ---- Here we are (this was about a month ago, I think, so about 6 months old?)!  And, yes, he is wearing a onesie that says his aunt is the best, and yes, I was the auntie that bought that!  I'm a sucker for anything baby these days, and Auntie Andrea always comes visiting with gifts!!!!

I have four furry children of my own (three dogs - Cody & Maximus & Bryant and a kitty - Elroy) but I'm thinking about doing individual posts about them since they each have a very special and long story about how they came into my life.

Well, this has turned into a book already!  I will post more later a little more in depth but a quick rundown:

Job: none at the moment, after six and half years of a very tumultuous relationship, I left my job March 1st...It is on to bigger and better!
Tattoos: While I have five, I only have a picture of the one ankle, will post more later....
Friends: MANY!  I love them all, couldn't live without them!!
Family: Mom & daddy live on a farm in the country, Trevor & Jamie & Bryce are my brother, sister-in-law and nephew respectively, Amanda is my sister.
Boyfriend: None!  Single as a slice of cheese, and I'm thisclose to being ok with that, but not really.
Movies: I love too many to list, and it is a pretty eclectic taste (I'm currently watching Scream and I'm looking forward to watching Gone with the Wind when I get back home!)
Music: Everything but bluegrass!
Hobbies: reading is a huge passion of mine, quilting, knitting, I just taught myself crochet again, riding 4wheelers on the farm, and so much more I'm excited to share with anyone that happens upon my little slice of the internet :)

If you're reading this, please introduce yourself!  I'm super excited to meet new people, get some pen pals around the country and so much more!  Oh, and I LOVE questions!  If you have one, please don't hesitate to ask!!!

ly.