HA!

this one is my favorite....

These crack me up.  That is all.  Oh, and Elroy is adorable. 

Finally going to share a little more....

(fair warning.  I over-think things.  A lot.  Please ignore this silly girl thing that I do.  Please.  )

So.  This guy.  We met in a very 2013 way....online.  I have had a profile off and on with this website that my sister used, my friends have used.  I know of two marriages, and a handful of long-term relationships that have stemmed from this website.  When I decided that I am over J, and need to move on, I reset my profile, updated my info, and added some new pictures.  Well, the next day I stumbled upon....um....he needs a blog name still, for now we'll call him The Lumberjack since that is what two of my friends said he looked like when I shared one of his pictures with them.  (side note, he is not actually a lumberjack)  I sent him an email.  He replied.  We emailed back and forth for a day, then I got bold and sent him my cell phone number that night.  Something felt right, like that is what needed to be done, so I did it.  This is very out of character for me.  I *NEVER* make the "first move" first.  I'm a very traditional gal that thinks the guy should make the first move always.  Anywhoooooo.  He texted me the next day.  And we kinda haven't really stopped since then.  The email day was January 6th, he texted me on January 7th. 

However.....We haven't met yet.  We had planned to meet last Sunday, the 20th but I was exhausted and accidentally fell asleep right after work so those plans kinda fell through. 

To be honest, it makes me insanely nervous to think about meeting him!  I mean, what if I'm not pretty enough for him?  What if he thinks I'm fat?  What if he hates me?  What if his voice sounds like Clint Eastwood on helium (sorry, inside joke)?  I just have built this perfect little bubble in my mind of what will happen, what great things we've talked about, us in general...and I don't want to burst that bubble.  Tell me I'm not crazy.  Tell me that it will work out if it is meant to be.  Tell me that I shouldn't be nervous.  Tell me it will be ok.  I need loads of reassurance on this. 

Pictures

It has been a while since I shared some pictures so here are some :)  Hope you enjoy them! 

Daddy and B.  These two.  haha

Then there is this guy that thinks he needs to spend his whole dang life in my lap.

SCARF!  I mean, hot pink giraffe scarf?  I love them. 

So, this one is from my Jersey trip last April.  I just am missing my ldb these days.  Camille, can you hurry up through school so we can go back to long rambling emails and letters?  haha

He's silly. 

I live in the country.  We hunt, well, my brother does.  I just got roped into helping field clean the deer he got. 

Jeans.  Red shoes.  Tattoos.  Yup, that's me.

Christmas.  Mom's and B's hands.  I love this picture for so many reasons.

Um, hello, Ohio winter, you showed up with a vengeance.  Knee high socks became a must wear item for a few days.

Isn't my momma beautiful? 

Also, I kinda can't wait for Valentine's Day.  I mean, I'm kinda all about the hearts and such with having such a guy that I text a ton.  haha

currently.

Today, I want to write but don't care to share what is really going on in my life without a little prompting....so I'm stealing from my ldb, Camille :)  (miss you girlie!!!!  Jersey trip as soon as I can get there!)  This is what is called a Currently post where I can share what I am.....

an early morning picture with no makeup and all kinds of shadows that i love so so so much.

Watching:  I have Frasier on just because my tv is almost always turned to Lifetime or the ID channel when I need background noise.  Lifetime was my choice this morning.  So, Frasier it is. 

Drinking: I had an extra sweet tea this morning but I drank it all so I don't have anything right now.... 

Thinking: So much!  My new boy, my finances, my job, where do I want to go, what do I want to do.  SO.MUCH. 

Planning: How I can meet my new guy (we're currently only texting still, long story! ha!)

Looking Forward To: Life settling down.  For my little shop to be super successful because, well, I just know it will happen someday. 

Reading: On my night stand right now?  The Summer Garden.  Girl with a Dragon Tattoo.  A handful of Vogue magazines.  My Nook that has a million books on it.  Dingley Falls.  And, finally, my always needed, Crochet: The Complete Guide :) 

Making Me Happy: The fact that all my friends are so happy and engaged or having babies!  Elroy stretching out on my legs to fall asleep at night.  Playing ball with Cody for hours on end it feels like.  Spending time with Jamie and B.  B did the cutest thing when I had dinner with them the other day, he sat on my lap and pointed to the letters on my shirt over and over again while I said the sounds.  That kid.  He's got my heart and I'm totally wrapped around his finger!  haha

Bonjour!

Have I ever mentioned how much I just love the french language?  I do.  Quite a lot.  One of my tattoos is in french. 

Anyway....haha  I'm still around. 

I've been working at the store quite a lot.  It hasn't been the easiest thing to force myself to go there five days a week, but it is what it is.  I've been trying to develop some new ideas for the shop and shows this coming year.  I'm excited for the ideas that I do have but unsure how I want them to be incorporated into the shop.  How I want my business to work.  What direction I want it to go in. 

I also kinda falling for this guy, but he shall remain a mystery at this point in the game.....it is one of those things that I don't want to spoil quite yet.  :)  Hope everyone is having a great week and will have an even better weekend! 

a hopeful heart.

Tonight I am going to bed with a hopeful heart.  Work didn't go great tonight.  Things went down hill quickly. 

BUT?  I got to text him.  We bonded a little more. 
He makes me smile. 
Calls me Hun. 
Tells me to have a good night when he goes into work (he works thirds...). 
He's adorable.
So far, he's been totally accepting of all of me.  All my faults.  All my perfections.  All of me. 


I don't even know what to do with myself.  But, I'm going to bed with a hopeful heart. 

In other news, I think everyone should sign up for this swap.  I'm kinda pumped about it. 

I don't ask for much

These past few weeks of uncertainty with J has really made realize what type of relationship that I DO want.  The type of guy that I will wait for.  I don't want to settle, I definitely deserve better, but today, when I walked into work and saw two of my dearest friends....and started to cry?  Yeah, that was me being a girl and letting everything with J hit me.  I need to get him away from me, from my thoughts, from my heart but I just can't until I have someone else to focus on.  I'm not going to settle though.  I have a very defined idea of they guy that I want.  What I want to do with him.  How we hang out.  How we interact with each other.  In all of this, I made two different Facebook statuses. 

Today?  It was this: I don't ask for much, I just want a pick me up in your truck with flowers on the seat kind of date. A fun, easy going dinner with a quick drink kind of date. A curled up at the movies kind of date. A take the long way down back roads kind of date....  

The other one I can't find, but it went something like this:  I don't ask for much.  Notes left in driver's seat of the baby jeep.  Stopping by the store to say hi when you know I'm there.  Phone calls when you're thinking of me.  

I just feel like I'm in a vicious cycle.  I throw myself into work to keep myself from thinking about settling down, but then I'm so into work that I don't see guys at all, so I just work more.  My best friend laughs at me because when I tell her about a guy interaction that I think is totally a non-issue, just a conversation or something but she says he was flirting and I didn't see it.  That's me right now.  I don't even see when guys are nice/flirting/anything with me.  I don't see when I'm getting close to a guy and shouldn't be (long story...).  All of this just makes me miss J more.  Even though we had a really unhealthy relationship, he was there and it was easy and there wasn't all the pressure to make something from nothing or to end something.  I didn't have to think about whether or not he was already in a relationship, or if he wanted to be in a relationship.  I didn't have to think about anything.  It was just....easy.  And I miss him today.  A lot.