Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I need to VENT

Whoa.  I need to take a breath.  I seriously can't stand family sometimes!  Not kidding!  I grew up in a very small "family unit".  Most people have the mom/dad/brother/sister and then extended family close either physically or emotionally.  That's not how I was raised.  At.All.  My parents met in January and were married in July of the same year....and neither of my grandma's wanted it to happen.  So, when my parents got married they made the decision to move far enough away to make their own family unit.  And, so they did....my family growing up was my mom, dad, brother and sister.  Even through all of our issues, it was us against the world.  That was my family unit.  I was never super duper close to my extended family, none of us kids are really.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my grandparents to pieces!  I really do, but I'm not overly close to them, and especially not close to aunts/uncles/cousins. 

To compound that slight issue, my mom's family dislikes us and we, equally if not more, dislike them.  Ever since my grandpa died the issues have only compounded more and more and more and more.  Let's just leave it at: after my grandpa died, I don't think my brother, sister and I have been in the same room as my cousins/aunt/uncle.  Not kidding.  We've (my parents included) have avoided any unnecessary contact with them.  B is over nine months old and he's never met anyone on that side of the family.  Not a single person....and I told Jamie that if she even thought about taking him to that negative of a place/home then I would physically harm her.  I was only like 1/4 kidding.  My grandma passed away in the middle of March.  I have yet to receive anything out of the will.  And, my aunt tells my mom that she's only been in the house once -- and that was the time that my mom called and told her to meet us there.  Well, my aunt got my grandma to sign over the house to her before she passed away.  Whatever.  I didn't want the house, but regardless, I don't think that was right.  Well, my aunt has decided to give the house to my cousin I guess.  Again, whatever.  The issues I have with all of this (yes, I'm airing dirty laundry, I'm that pissed right now)....

1 - My aunt thinks that my mom should pay half of everything for the house.  Um.  No.  My mom doesn't own that house.  I told mom to not pay for anything....she said she was going to appease my aunt until we got our stuff from the will....my response?  Fine, pay what you wish, but DON'T pay for shit after my cousin moves in. 
2 - My aunt *deceived* my one uncle to pay for the home owner's insurance.
3 - My aunt tells my mom that she's not been in the house, but she lives five minutes away, and her daughter is moving in there at some point?  I don't believe her.  Not at all.
4 - My cousin that's moving into the house posts things like this (taken directly from her fb): "Going yard saleing tomorrow with mom and Stacy and friends.....Hope to find some stuff for the house.", "Great weekend making everything look nice."
5 - Another post was put on her page by a friend.....but first a little back story.  When my mom and I went up there, my aunt asked me what I wanted from the house that wasn't listed in the will.  The one thing I asked for was my grandma's lobster bells.  I was told the other ones would stay there for my cousins.  I "wasn't allowed" to have them.  Whatever!  I only wanted the lobster bells anyways, and if the others were staying in the family I was ok with that (my grandma loved hanging on the porch listening to all her wind chimes/bells, they needed to stay with someone who would remember that).  Well, today I noticed this post on my cousin's fb: "heard you might have some windchimes you don't want"......This pissed me off sooooo bad and I don't know why.  I don't know if it is the fact that she's changing the house or if it is about her saying how she was going to be rid of them without asking any one of us about them.  I don't know. 

I guess all this put together really pisses me off more because we can't have our things from the will but I know those girls most likely have theirs because *THEY'RE TAKING OVER THAT HOUSE AND ALL THAT IS IN IT*.  That probably sounds incredibly selfish and materialistic but one of the few things that I bonded with my grandma /grandpa over is listed in that damn will and since I didn't spend a lot of time with them and wasn't that close to them, I'm trying to grasp at the few things we shared moments over.  I hope that makes sense.  I'm just ready to not have those people in my life but I'm forced to since they have my items.  My mom's items.  My sister's items.  My brother's items.  

I seriously think I'm going to ask mom for their phone number so that I can just go get my stuff and be done with it all.  I'm just so done.  I've got much more important battles going on in my life, I don't need them or their drama too.  I just don't.

I think I'm done now.  Do you have any ideas for me?  Has anyone ever been in this situation before?

1 comment:

  1. I haven't been in this situation, but your post reminds me of some other families I've met through people close to me... What I'd suggest is, if you go to get your stuff, take someone supportive who is not in the family and tell them all this stuff beforehand. If they start any crap like "that's mine!" you'll have someone there to help calmly assert the truth, and hopefully having someone else there will mean they're less willing to start stuff... hopefully. I think if you don't get your things, then it'll eat away at you for ages (seen this in people close to me too), so I would advise trying to get it, as calmly as possible. And if things are written in the will, then you'll have some sort of legal recourse about them but I hope it doesn't come to that. Calm assertiveness, I think that's the way to go. And after all this, I personally would cut them off (my opinion based only on this post, of course!). If someone is making you feel that bad, you're better off without them. *hugs* hope things get sorted out soon


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