Dear You...

I cried for the first time ever about you today.  Damn Tim McGraw song.  But, that is besides the point of this.  I've been thinking & you've been thinking.  As much as I would prefer to have you say your peace first, I doubt that will happen, so here is what I'm thinking will get said...

We need to take a step back.  We need to take a hot minute to not be planning our future and just live in the now.  The "now" of you and I figuring out what the hell we are doing.  I think you're going to say that you need to be single.  You've been in a relationship for years and feel the need to be single for a bit.  I'm okay with that.  I'm more than okay.  I just don't want to lose you as a friend.  We will always be friends first.  Always.  I have more fun with you putting lug nuts on a damn semi tire than I do with most anyone else.  I think you might bring up the other guy in my life, the one that I don't know what to say to because you've come back into my life like a hurricane.  But, if I wanted to be with him, I would be.

So, with that said, I'm here when you get back to Ohio - when you get back from your run this weekend or when you get back from Michigan in a few weeks - I'm here.  But, until you're ready to talk to me, I will be very quiet.  I will be very quiet and hoping that what I think you're going to say isn't what you're going to say, I will hope that you will say something totally opposite, something about how I'm wrong and that you've been thinking and you don't want to wait for other things to fall into place for us to be together.  How we're going to be together in spite of everything going against us, how we're going to make it work.  Hoping that you will say something at least along the lines that we will never not be friends and you don't want to cut me from your life.