Dear You....

Oh, you.  You drive me crazy because you're the only person in this world, outside of people at work, that I don't know where I stand.  I've been thinking of the things I'm writing here for the last couple of days.  You said so many of the right things the other day.  So so so many of the right things, then for the last couple of days, I am back to square one where I'm totally confused and unsure of myself and this situation.  I want to keep you at a distance because I'm afraid of getting hurt again but I don't at the same time.  I'm so torn on how to be what I want to be and still give you what you want.  Giving you what you want is hard though, because I'm not sure what you want from me.  I'm not used to not knowing what someone wants from me.  I'm fully aware that you've got a lot going on but I need you to be aware that I have had a lot on my mind these last few days when the uncertainty and insecurities have taken over my head and heart.  I just want things to be right and good between us, in whatever relationship status that may happen between us.  I will admit that I want to give "us" a shot, a real, honest to goodness shot.  However, for that to happen you need to integrate me into your life somehow - little, quick bursts into my life then days of sporadic, if any, contact is not how to try and make this work.  I'm just going to do whatever you wish for me to do.  The ball is in your court now babe.