Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Let's talk about monogomy.

Alright guys & gals.  I had a rather interesting, and if we're being honest partly humorous, conversation with my best friend at lunch the other day.  We were discussing my relationship status and the lack of committed relationships in my life. 

I know that I've posted before about my non-existent relationships and how I tend to find guys that are not good for me but when you're talking to a best friend about it you tend to realize how odd it may seem to others.  I mean, she gives me a totally honest and open opinion on things that I may not see.  Every single guy I have liked for years, like since high school, has either been in a relationship already or definitely did not want a relationship.  Well, the random statement of me not being "not a monogamous kind of girl" was said.  And, really, that's kinda true.  I rather like not having to deal with allllllll the bullshit that comes from a relationship.  I kinda appreciate the fact that I can just be like, I don't want to deal with you whining about something, you can go talk to your girlfriend about that.  I kinda like being the fun one, the one that gets to do the random car trips, the one that just gets to watch movies and hang out, the one that doesn't have to deal with the teeeeeny tinnnny details of life.  I'm rather good at being the other girl in the picture.  I hate it because, well, I'm the other girl and I don't want to run around ruining relationships, but I'm good at it. 

Now, while I'm not a person that totally understands polygamy and all that it entails, I do respect the fact that someone has chosen that lifestyle.  I respect the fact that gay man can be a gay man in this world.  I respect the fact that people will love how they choose, so how am I different in how I've chosen, these last few years, to be a little different?  Do I want a relationship?  Do I want someone that will be there with me through thick and thin?  Do I want someone to be there during all the family functions?  Sure.  But, what if I can get all the things that I want with someone that maybe has another relationship or with someone that doesn't want to be committed?  Does that set me back a million years in the women's movement?  Does that make me a horrible person?  If I have a comfortable situation going on where I'm happy, he is happy, and we are happy together, then why change that? 

Now, all of this wouldn't be on my mind as much as it has been except that a guy that I used to be with (who had a girlfriend and was my ex's best friend...it was a tiny bit complicated...) just left his girlfriend of years a few days ago.  And he emailed me today.  He wants to hang out.  I'm scared that now that the situation is different (he's single and is no longer friends with my ex), we will be different.  I mean, we are going to be different because it has been years since we hung out, but how will our interactions will be different.  What's funny is that when I saw his relationship status change on Facebook the other day, it was the day before I met my bestie for lunch to chat.  I even said to her that if he and I did get together, I would almost expect him to cheat just based off his past actions; I mean, he did cheat on his girlfriend with me after all.  Isn't that horrible to say?  That you would expect someone to cheat?  But, that's where the "am I monogamous" thing came up.  I just question how monogamous people, as animals/creatures, supposed to be.  Aren't we meant to breed?  Aren't we meant to create offspring so that our lineage continues on?  I just wonder how much of that is just in our DNA as animals.  Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks about these things....haha

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