I have a confession

I hate opening gifts in front of people.  I intensely dislike being the center of attention.  It makes me sweat and gives me an upset tummy and just generally makes me a nervous wreck.  So opening things those people watching me have given me?  Yeah, makes me all kinds of a silly nervous wreck.  I always feel like they're expecting a different reaction than I'm showing.  I choose to not open my Christmas presents in groups if I can.  I'm pretty skilled at it at this point.  I make a huge deal of watching everyone else open stuff for so long that usually I get forgotten--the one and only time it is great to be the forgotten baby of the family!  I wonder if this all has something to do with the fact that we never really had big birthday parties when I was a kid so I was never really forced to deal with this situation when I was little, I never had to learn how to find a way to get through the whole process.  Even when we did Christmas when I was a kid, there were always enough of us that I could hide a bit. 

This year was super easy when we were with my brother's family because I could get anyone to focus on B at any time pretty much, so I didn't open anything.  The gift my mom got me?  Yeah, I managed to not open that during gift time yesterday, I opened it this morning sitting alone on the couch.  I like it better that way.  I can appreciate whatever the gift is on my own and in my own way.  The only time this isn't a good thing is when something like today happens when my aunt was super excited about what she got me and wanted to see me open it.....but I hate opening presents in front of people!  haha, I managed to get out of opening it until we were back on the farm and I was alone in the house because mom and dad were down in the barn. 

I'm slightly afraid that people will think I'm ungrateful for gifts in general and then I'm reminded that the people that love me and understand me know that I don't like this at all and therefore are ok with it.  My best friend, Allicen, is great with this, usually I can get her to tell me what she got me so that I don't *need* to open the gift in front of her.  Anywhooooo, I only have two more gifts to open and they're the ones I'm most excited for!  I still have my Christmas package from Camille at my apartment that I will get tomorrow probably (only if she gets hers!) and then I'm exchanging with Allicen on Wednesday when we spend our chill-out day together which is something that is much needed for both of us!!

I hope everyone had a magical holiday and got everything they asked Santa for!