Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A (possibly irrational) fear of mine....

My number 1 fur baby is Cody, my 12 year old Jack Russell that we've had since he was tiny enough to fit in one of my hands.  He has been my baby the whole time we've had him.  He breaks my heart when he's sick, he makes me laugh like no other creature on this earth, he gets extremely upset if I cry.  He's my baby.  (I should add here that El does all those things too :) )

One of my absolute biggest fears ever is that he will die when I'm not here to be with him and comfort him.  I'm gone to day for long stretches of time now and only come home for a day here and there, staying over night very rarely at this point.  Because of this fear I tend to hug him for like five minutes before I leave, I kiss his face a million times, I tell him I love him over and over, and my heart cracks a little when I put him on the floor.  We have this thing where I can pick him up, and he sits just so in my arms....I can tuck my nose into his neck (side note, they say not to do this with your dogs -- in a normal pack, the leader makes everyone tuck their noses under his neck, so if you want to exert control then you shouldn't let you dog ever have their head above yours) and he lays his nose across my eyes and we cuddle.  He's my baby and I'm afraid of him not being around.  Mom says that if he dies when I'm not at the farm then she will not be the one to call me, dad says the same thing.  They say they're just going to pack up and leave....I don't blame them.  I'm gonna be a wicked mess when that happens.

1 comment:

  1. I 100% feel you on this! My grandma had a dog that I picked out when I was 6, and he finally passed away last year... He went missing and she (and the whole family) were afraid to tell me because they thought I'd flip. I think atfter the initial freak out, you do feel a calm because you know that they're not in pain anymore. :(


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