I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about what is the "right" thing to do, what is what I "want" to do. How have I been dealing with this? I ignore it. I'm pretty good at ignoring my own thoughts most of the time....I ignore ignore ignore until I can't anymore. Well, I'm going to say something that I haven't uttered out loud to anyone, not even my own face in the mirror.
I am 99% sure I'm going to move back to the farm. And soon. Like February or March.
There isn't anything keeping me here in Dayton at this point. But, there also isn't anything that would keep me there. I'm feeling very light & breezy in the sense that I could go anywhere at this point. I've looked at places like Savannah, GA or Ontario or even France. Could you really see me living there? Could you see my little 'ol country bumpkin heart moving to some place like that? While I think there are more job opportunities in Dayton than there are in Ross County, they obviously don't want me or else I would have a job by now. And moving doesn't mean that I can't move back. Right? All it is is moving possessions from place to another....and that can be undone. The only thing that I would feel like I'm leaving behind would be about 3 friends, and my lovely apartment that is so very much my heart's home. When I moved here, it felt like I was coming home for the first time since we moved from my childhood home when I was 19. I moved here thinking that this was where I was supposed to be....but is it where I was supposed to be for just the amount of time I've been here? How would you think this through?
(let me add this disclaimer....I've just spent the last couple of weeks supporting my ldb move from her life long home of SC to Jersey so just picking up and moving has been on my mind a lot!)