Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Friday, June 15, 2012

Dear You...

I cried for the first time ever about you today.  Damn Tim McGraw song.  But, that is besides the point of this.  I've been thinking & you've been thinking.  As much as I would prefer to have you say your peace first, I doubt that will happen, so here is what I'm thinking will get said...

We need to take a step back.  We need to take a hot minute to not be planning our future and just live in the now.  The "now" of you and I figuring out what the hell we are doing.  I think you're going to say that you need to be single.  You've been in a relationship for years and feel the need to be single for a bit.  I'm okay with that.  I'm more than okay.  I just don't want to lose you as a friend.  We will always be friends first.  Always.  I have more fun with you putting lug nuts on a damn semi tire than I do with most anyone else.  I think you might bring up the other guy in my life, the one that I don't know what to say to because you've come back into my life like a hurricane.  But, if I wanted to be with him, I would be.

So, with that said, I'm here when you get back to Ohio - when you get back from your run this weekend or when you get back from Michigan in a few weeks - I'm here.  But, until you're ready to talk to me, I will be very quiet.  I will be very quiet and hoping that what I think you're going to say isn't what you're going to say, I will hope that you will say something totally opposite, something about how I'm wrong and that you've been thinking and you don't want to wait for other things to fall into place for us to be together.  How we're going to be together in spite of everything going against us, how we're going to make it work.  Hoping that you will say something at least along the lines that we will never not be friends and you don't want to cut me from your life.   

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Dear You....

Oh, you.  You drive me crazy because you're the only person in this world, outside of people at work, that I don't know where I stand.  I've been thinking of the things I'm writing here for the last couple of days.  You said so many of the right things the other day.  So so so many of the right things, then for the last couple of days, I am back to square one where I'm totally confused and unsure of myself and this situation.  I want to keep you at a distance because I'm afraid of getting hurt again but I don't at the same time.  I'm so torn on how to be what I want to be and still give you what you want.  Giving you what you want is hard though, because I'm not sure what you want from me.  I'm not used to not knowing what someone wants from me.  I'm fully aware that you've got a lot going on but I need you to be aware that I have had a lot on my mind these last few days when the uncertainty and insecurities have taken over my head and heart.  I just want things to be right and good between us, in whatever relationship status that may happen between us.  I will admit that I want to give "us" a shot, a real, honest to goodness shot.  However, for that to happen you need to integrate me into your life somehow - little, quick bursts into my life then days of sporadic, if any, contact is not how to try and make this work.  I'm just going to do whatever you wish for me to do.  The ball is in your court now babe.     

Bookworm Wednesday ~ Announcement!

I hate to admit this, but I'm far over extended in the time department these days!  I know the posts here have become erratic and that makes me sad, but when it comes down to life or blogging about life -- I'm choosing life.  With that said, I'm putting Bookworm Wednesdays on hold for a month or two.  I hate that I've missed the last couple of weeks and I can't justify being sad about it anymore so I'm just going to take a break if that is ok with everyone?  :) 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Catching up and moving on :)


First off, if you're in a reader of any kind, click out to see the blog in all its new design glory!  Kate from 17th Avenue designs did something that I love love love love and hope you all love it too!

Second, I'm so sorry I went MIA again.  I needed to recharge, regroup, and basically figure some things out.  Thankfully, I'm on the right track again.  Not so thankfully, I'm going full steam into festival season and while I'm only doing two this summer (so far...), they are my first ones and they're both very very very local so I need to be on the top of my game.  I could quickly become fodder for the gossips if I make one tiny misstep.  Sometimes I really hate living in the back woods, small town filled O down the road, ya know? 

Now, here are some pictures from the last week or so.... 

This is me when I was about three or four?  It was taken at our baby sitter's, Mrs. Cline's, house.  I loved that house!  I remember sitting at her table snapping beans on a regular basis.  :)  This is also my current facebook profile pic haha  (yes, I still stand like that sometimes.  And I still have that smile.  And those lips.)

Playing with some new hair pieces for the shop.  This one is one that Camille requested - hey, ldb, I have this still!  I will ship it soon!  haha

Salem says: Give me my dinner lady!

The girls at work asked me to make them key fobs, I did a bunch and the leftovers will make their way to the store, if there is something you like let me know and I can get a special listing set up for you!

I cut my hair!  She cut over three inches off!  That's a lot for me to let someone cut off!!!  I love love love it though.  Of course, I can't get it to look like this anymore, someday I'm going to be so rich that I will have someone blow dry my hair for me every single day.

I was feeling extra summer-y so I cracked out the hot pink nail polish. :)

Another summer pastime?  Sitting out in the swing in the back yard reading! 

KITTY PILE!

It isn't a holiday until something catches on fire.  Yep.  Memorial Day 2012 will forever be remembered as the day the mower caught on fire and almost burned down the little barn.  Good gracious!