Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I love SouthLAnd.

Yep....this girly girl really loves that gritty cop drama.  Well, I really love Michael Cudlitz a whole lot too...

I took my second round of stuff over to the farm today.  I moved all but one of my end tables (the last one has my ivy on it...), all three bookshelves, all my books, and all my antique glass.  I broke two nails in the process so I think it is time to cut them all off, it will happen probably first thing tomorrow.  I did realize, though, that I don't have a whole lot of little boxes/stuff to move at this point.  It is mostly furniture now.  And the rest of the pictures off my walls.

In other news, I need to figure out how to make friends by the farm.  My school (when I actually am enrolled...) is online.  My little shop is online My ldb is online (well, really in NJ, but you know what I mean).  My friends up here, are well, up here and not there.  I don't know.  There is this guy that I've known forever (seriously, since we were like five!) and my parents really want him and I to actually get together and be a couple and get married and have babies.  THREE different times today I was asked, "so, when you move back are you and ____ going to finally get serious since you'll be closer?"  For the record, ____ and I are totally happy and comfortable in our relationship, and just because I'm closer doesn't mean we are going to get together and make babies.  Plus, I don't want to attempt one relationship when I need to sort out feelings for another relationship.  ya know?

On a happier note, here are some random pictures I took today when I was at the farm...

How pretty is my little guy?  I love Cody so so so so so much!
Just for the record, that's me on the right.  Yeah. 
Did anyone else have agenda books in school?  We were required to write all of our assignments in ours, some teachers even graded/signed off on them!  These go from 8th grade to my senior year.  Reading the homework assignments I had, you could definitely tell that I was taking classes like Advanced English (all four years), Chem, Advanced Algebra, etc.
Yep, the walls of my room at the farm are still painted the same from when it was the nursery for Ida the little girl that lived there before us.  Ida is now like almost 10.  And I still have Winnie the Pooh painted on my lavender walls.
This is how El fell asleep on me after dinner tonight....I like to pretend he does cute stuff like this because he misses me when I've been gone all day.  :)

Monday, January 30, 2012

Dear You.....

We had fun, right?  You know, just about six-ish years ago when we would spend a few evenings a week with each other just hanging out?  It was easy breezy and it was just what both of us needed at the time.  Well, Mister, I kinda need you again.  I'm moving back to an area where you're the closest thing to a friend I have....but we haven't spoken in a long time.  For the record, I'm not counting the sporadic texts we've had over the last couple of weeks as speaking to each other.  I literally don't know anyone but my parents there anymore, and that scares me.  I'm very afraid that I will become a girl that is a shell of me without anyone resembling a friend to hang out with.

I'm a very different girl than the one you knew.  I'm sure you've changed as well.  We've both gone through a lot and that makes me curious as to what kind of person you are now.  How you're adjusting to being single after so long, but if I know you, you've thrown yourself into work and well, anything that doesn't involve you just sitting around.  I'm curious if we'll hang out and do things that we used to do....sit on the couch watching movies (and you falling asleep....), laying in bed talking until we fall asleep (probably my favorite memory of us), if you would still get fake mad at me for not touching you while we fall asleep (I'm still very "don't touch me" when I'm sleepy haha), if we will spend evenings cleaning (I still have a scar on my finger from washing your knives that one time - I will never forget you going all EMT/Medic on me that night), if you'll go back to being the one that changes the oil in my car (I'm still really good at keeping a guy company in the garage!)....I've spent a bit of time thinking about the things we did, as much as I've tried not to.

I also wonder what you remember.  When you think of me, when you think of that time, what do you think about?

I also reallllllly wonder if you will read this and know that I'm talking about you. 

I just wonder.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

12 in 12! Month 1, Week 4 - Original Design

I love bows.  Quite a lot.  But, I couldn't really find a pattern for a crochet bow that I liked.  It is one of those things that everyone does their own kind of thing with in the crochet world....so I set out to create my own.

The first attempt was a relatively flat bow that came out a bit wonky because I was playing with single crocheting in different loops as opposed to always crocheting through both loops.

Cute, but I knew I could do better.... So, I started playing around with doing a circle so that there is some density to the bow loops....and this is what I came up with, I love it so much more!

These will definitely be making an appearance in Scarlett Key, and very very very soon!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Fast Times at Ridgemont High is one of the best movies.

No, seriously.  I love it.  Every time it is on tv I watch it.  haha

In other news, I finished up my mini swap gifts last night at about 2 a.m. 

Cute, right?  They actually have pin backs so they can be pinned on a jacket or tote or something.  My stitching is a bit wonky, it has been years since I did a running blanket stitch on anything but once I got the hang of it again it got much better.  Working on these last night made me want to work on my quilts again, so once the move it over that might happen.  I want to work on my Sunbonnet Sue quilt, which is probably the last time I used my running blanket stitch since it is mostly applique!  I found so many pieces to it when I was cleaning out my sewing basket the other day.  I think I have enough to make a baby's quilt for my unplanned, non-conceived daughter.

I had planned on taking another load of stuff out to the farm today, but for the last part of the week I kept hearing from the weather people that we were going to get snow off and on all day....and I'm not a fan of driving in snow at all!  So, I changed my plans to stay in my apartment all weekend....well.  It is is now 1 in the afternoon and there isn't a cloud in the sky....and no snow on the ground from the 1-2 inches we were supposed to get last night.  Oh well.  I also already made plans to meet up with Allicen tomorrow (probably) because they said it was supposed to rain all day but I'm wondering if that rain is going to happen either.  UGH.  I hate Ohio weather sometimes!  So very fickle. 

I'm working on packing up my kitchen this weekend as well.  I'm planning on leaving out one set of things, plate, bowl, silverware, etc.  That means that I'm going to get creative with what I eat haha  I will figure it out like I've figured out everything else these past couple of weeks.  The landlord put up the "For Rent" sign yesterday so I'm trying to keep my cleaning/packing to an acceptable level of non-messiness in case people want to come in to see the place.  Let me tell you, that's pretty hard to do!  haha

I'm super excited to be close to the walking trails by the farm!  That's been my mine focus in this move.  I will hopefully be able to take Bry out on them.  I say hopefully because he's a bit of a monster on the leash.  And the fact that he's basically the same size as me but stronger?  Yeah, that makes for an interesting time.  :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hip Hip HOOOORAY!!!!

My ldb, Camille, posted this earlier on her blog (it is one of my favorites, and not just 'cause she's my bestie!) and I had to steal it!

* At the age of 25, I'm in the process of moving back home with my parents for a number of reasons, but mostly because the economy sucks balls.
* I grew up around baskets decorating everywhere and I've realized that I've turned into my mom...I'm packing up TWELVE baskets!  12!
* I have a wonky knee cap.  I've already had one surgery for it but most people have multiple surgeries and then a total replacement.  Usually by the time they turn 40.
* I love sewing quilts together but hate hate hate quilting them!  I currently have like three quilts that just need finished.
* I spend a lot of time cruising hulu.com finding shows that I need to catch up on.
* My ex-boyfriend got me so into movies!  Like, I can quote movies like no other!
* My sister and I are quite different.  She takes after my dad's Irish/German roots and I take after my mom's Cherokee Indian/French/German roots.  Translation?  She is pale and skinny.  I'm tan and buxom.
* I have 10 pillows on my bed.  Not kidding.
* Pinterest is my new favorite time waster.
* One of the cutest things ever is when El yawns so big it takes over the whole front half of his body....he will literally be laying down and as he yawns his front paws both go and stretch and come back down...totally in sync with the yawn.  

1. Who would play you in a movie?
*maggie gyllenhaal 

2. If you had an infinite amount of money to buy one item with, what would it be?
*Real estate.  As my dad says, they aren't making any more land.....

3. If you had to give up one of your 5 senses for the rest of your life, which one would it be and why?
*Whoa.  Why do I gotta give it up?  haha

4. If money was no object what hobby would you take up?
*Traveling, duh!

5. What is the worst book you have ever read?
*the twilight series. i'm still apologizing to my brain for that. those were written SO terribly (imo:) <<  HAHA, I'm totally agreeing with Camille on this one!  WTF was that author thinking?  Or rather, WTF are 99% of the teenagers in this world going to do when they finally realize that vampires (and wizards for that matter) are NEVER going to be real.  NEVER.

6. If you were an animal, which one would you be?
*a tortoise.  Those things live forever! 

7. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
*Bread.  More specifically, the bread sticks from Olive Garden (oh, if I could just have their salad along with the bread, that'd be great).

8. If you could befriend one famous person, who would it be?
*Rachel Bilson!  I just want to steal her closet.  

9. If you had a super power, what would it be?
*Talk to animals.  I really want to know what they're thinking.

10. If you could go back in time and relive a moment, what would it be?
*The day I decided to not go to college right after high school.

11. If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
*No, really, why did you make Eve second, it was because you messed up on Adam, right? :)

Edited to add what I forgot....THIS was my 200th post!  How awesome is that?  With that said, I wanted to add in that once I hit 25 (up from the previous 10...) followers I will be doing a giveaway!  There is also a mini giveaway over on Scarlett Key's facebook.  Once the page gets 25 likes, I will be giving away a set of things from the shop!  Help me get to both milestones?  You're the best!!

Bookworm Wednesday!

Remember a while back when my Bookworm Wednesday was showing you all the books I see at Barnes & Noble and how I take pictures of them so I can check them out from the library?  Well, Pinterest has fed that addiction even more.  I've found myself going there are a quick time waster and filling up my boards with the most random stuff ever.  Thankfully, I them semi-sorted pretty well with the boards I've created.  One of my favorite is my "Books Worth Reading" board.  It isn't as full as some of my other boards, but it is definitely well-loved!  I've been pinning books I want to read and books I've loved reading.  I don't go hunting for books, usually when I'm on there I just cruise the main update board and as I come across something I pin it.  :) 

Are you on Pinterest?  I'm there under prajaline

(need an invite? let me know and I will send you one!)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Well that was fun.

I was really thinking that moving the first load of stuff to the farm today was going to suck.  Well, it kinda did, but for 90% of the day, my mom was making me laugh and being super helpful which made it a million times easier.  We got my furniture situation figured out.  I get to keep my couch, which was a HUGE thing for me!  I love this couch!!!!!  My whole goal at this point is to make it a good thing for Elroy.  I'm trying to make it so that he doesn't even stress about not coming back.  Side note, he's having a blast playing in the empty boxes all over the place!  But, he will be going from having the fun of my whole apartment to having the run of a single bedroom.  I can't have him in the main part of the house because my dad's dog, Katie, hates cats.  Like, super hates them.  She chases them outside and since she doesn't get disciplined by anyone she respects, she thinks she can do it with El too.  On that note, I've been watching this random show on Animal Planet, this guy is basically a cat whisperer and shows how to organize spaces so that you play into a cat's natural instinct like how they feel the need to be as high up as possible, how they need to be fed in a protected space, etc.  I'm trying to incorporate as much as I can from what I've learned from that show. 

Today, I moved my big yarn stash, some end tables (how I have accumulated SEVEN end tables boggles my mind!), some of my pictures (my apartment looks so bare without them!), and some other random knick knacks.  At the farm, we moved my one dresser upstairs and most of my bed that was in my room.  I should add in here that I have two sets of nearly everything.  I have one bedroom set here at the apartment, and one at the farm.  I have a sewing machine here, and I have two there - but one is a 1914 treadle Singer that needs repaired, which I will be working on.  Tomorrow is for doing laundry and dishes, and as they're done I will be packing them up.  Pretty much all my clothes are hung up so those will just go from one closet to another.  My front closet is pretty much packed up, I literally move those boxes from one spot to another.  The only real thing I need to PACK is my two bookshelves.  I still have to move some huge pieces of furniture - my bed, antique dresser, blanket chest, two desks, and a number of other things but thankfully I have an unbelievably supportive set of parents that are helping me through this!  It was kinda funny when mom made the statement, "You know, you've moved into this house three times now....please don't let a 4th time happen."  Sure, momma, I will work on that.

I'm trying very hard, and nearly succeeding most times, to stay positive in all of this.  With that said, I will list the great things about this move.....

1. I get to spend time with my parents.  Let's be honest, neither of my parents are in the best of health, so getting to spend time with them is always a huge high point for me. 
2. I will be only like 20 minutes from B!  For those of you that don't know this, my world revolves around my nephew, Bryce.  He really is one of my absolute favorite things in this world.  Right now, I'm over an hour away from him and don't see him near as often as I would like!
3. I will be a little more financially secure.  I'm going to be honest in saying that I have no clue how I'm going to pay some bills each month, but I know that my parents are able to help and I'm so unbelievably grateful for that fact.  I *know* it could a million bazillion times worse.
4. I will, hopefully, be able to go back to school!  I lust after a degree and an education.  I am hoping that once I'm settled a little bit, I will be able to go back to school now that they've opened up some more grants!
5. I will be close to my favorite boys.  And, no, I'm not talking about my family.  I grew up with guys that I've literally known since I was 5!  I miss those boys!  I'm super pumped to be closer to them and my roots!  I am definitely a country girl at heart.  (and, yes, Camille, I will be realllllly close to J too!)
6. I will be able to really get my hands into some serious crafts!  My dad has a work shop in the garage, like full on wood, saws, tools, the whole nine yards!  And my parents are super supportive of this habit of mine so they tend to let me run wild. 
7. Finally, I will be with my beloved Cody and Bryant and Maximus.  My four-legged, annoying, loving fur babies.  Those dogs make me happier than most things in this world and I'm so happy to be reunited with them!

On a more somber note, the sister of one of my childhood friends is very sick and at 23 weeks she has to deliver her baby to a very uncertain future.  The baby is only about 9 ounces right now.  I'm extremely aware of how amazing the miracles doctors can work, but I'm also very realistic.  Please, please, please, keep Katie and baby Max in your thoughts and prayers, they could really use it. 

Sunday, January 22, 2012

12 in 12! Month 1, Week 3 - Quilt Block!

So, remember how I want to do three blocks a month?  Well, I am.  But I'm only going to share one block on here.....I don't want to share the whole dang book due to copyright stuff.

I'm still using Hobo Quilts by Debra Henninger.  This block is called Bad Water....and I have a HUGE mistake in it!  I wasn't paying attention to how I was sewing my triangles and lo and behold I didn't realize I had done one wrong until I was putting it all together.  Oh well!  Let's call it an official design decision.  K?  

Winter fog makes me nervous.

I will be back later with my 12n12 for the week (if I'm being honest, I haven't even started on it! ha!) but wanted to send out a quick update on my little life.

I've come to terms with the fact that I'm moving back to my parents.  This makes me feel like a HUUUUUUGE loser at 25 almost 26, but it needs to be done and I'm trying to focus on the fact that I have a set of parents that love me and are able to let me move back....and, let's be honest again, my mom will be thrilled to have me home.  I've started planning how I'm going to attack this move.  I don't have a small apartment but I have a really tiny room at the farm.  I have a lot of furniture.  I have a lot of books.  I have a lot of everything.  Thankfully, at the farm there is a huge bonus room that gets used for storage and my friend Allicen is taking a few pieces that she's been wanting, like my treadmill. 

I've been doing job apps like crazy, but so is every other person in Dayton.  I'm struggling with how to separate myself from the thousands of other people fighting for the same jobs.  A large part of me wants a "no thought" kind of job that just covers my bills so that I can go back to school.  I want to finish my degree so dang bad!  I will finish my degree!  One of the good things about if my unemployment goes away would be that I could go back to school pretty much for free through the college I attend.  And I would be able to focus on just studying my butt off. 

Alright....I should get to work on stuff.  I have my 12n12 to work on, and last night I cut out some headbands and key fobs for the store to work on.  Chat at ya soon!

Thursday, January 19, 2012


I've always been the girl that loves to make things.  That should be obvious from the fact that I craft like a mad woman most days.  Well, I set out to really start designing my own stuff when I couldn't find what I was looking for.  Then, I set the goal of creating something new, from my own mind, each month with the 12in12 project. 

This has kind of blossomed into something I wasn't fully expecting.  I know my mind goes off on tangents when I think of a fun idea, but I wasn't expecting to have my crochet patterns almost write themselves with my hands.  I wasn't expecting them to come out so easily.  At this point I have designed and created a fun & funky headband, four different scarves and three new cozies (one of them is already in Scarlett Key!).  I have more headbands, more cozies, more scarves, more everything in my head that I need to work out, need to get them on paper! 

With all that said, I need a couple of pattern testers for what I have written out.  Do you crochet?  Wanna test for me?  Everything I need tested takes far less than two hours to complete at this point.  I use mostly Caron Simply Soft so you would need less than a skein of worsted and I write stuff using my H hook mostly.  If you would like to test for me, please comment here with a way to contact you or email me at prajaline (at) gmail (dot) com.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Bookworm Wednesday!

(you thought I forgot again, didn't you?  I don't blame you, I almost did forget.)

This week is a book that I haven't finished, but I'm kinda baffled by, so I will share.

Dingley Falls is....interesting.  I mean, this book is written in a way that you need to pay attention.  Each character has like four different names, things get repeated in such a way that you don't realize they're talking about the same thing.  It is essentially written in a bunch of circles.  haha  oh!  And the language!  It cracks me up!  There will be a scene talking about these prim and proper ladies and then somehow a short, random poem about really dirty sex gets thrown in.  The first time I read a part like that I was shocked!  Anyway, the book is about a city named Dingley Falls and what happens when weird things start going on....random people fall for each other (a priest and a school headmaster?!?!) and random things happen (hello, little random letters showing up on doorsteps!).  This book is ODD!  But hilarious!  I highly recommend it if you're looking for something that will keep you on your toes and something that makes you do a double-take....well a double-read.  :)

Monday, January 16, 2012

I think I finally hit a wall.

I've been relatively non-stop for a few days now working, thinking, planning away for Scarlett Key.  Once I added it to Facebook, my friends fully supported me which was a pleasant surprise (I'm talking friends that I don't normally talk to...) and they started asking me about prices and such.  Great!  I'm super happy!  I can't survive off of it, but it makes me happy and keeps my hands busy.

Anywhooooo, I've been searching the internet for inspiration for new products.  I suddenly felt like every other little shop on Etsy and want to be something different.  I don't feel original and that keeps my brain searching and thinking ALL.THE.TIME.  Each thing I see, I try to figure out how I can make it different.  Pinterest has become a good source of inspiration at this point since I finally signed up for it the other day, and I've gotten some ideas from there that I want to try so we will see how those work out.  The issue at this point is that I keep finding things I want to make, and possibly sell, but they aren't really good for Etsy because they can't be easily shipped.  They would be more for craft fairs and such.  But, I've never sold at those before...hopefully I will try one this year though!  Back to my wall though, I think I hit the wall this morning when I got up and then stayed in bed for like an hour just staring at and not really watching the tv.  Then, when I migrated to the couch, I got out my yarn, and promptly stretched out and fell asleep.  For hours.  Now, I could blame this on my super-swollen-can't-walk-normally knee but I know that isn't just it.  My brain finally needed to shut off...and now I'm feeling off my game and unsure of myself.

The whole point of this is....what do you draw inspiration from?  How do you deal with this type of thing?  :)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

12 in 12! Month 1, Week 2 - Charity Hat!

HI!  For this week, my first charity hat, I used a basic crochet beanie pattern that you can find just about anywhere online (10 dc, inc rounds for 4 rounds, 5 rounds of no inc....) and this will probably be the same pattern I use each month unless I find something else to tickle my fancy.  I'm in a group on Rav that is sharing a hat pattern each month so I will see that pattern each month and may do it...  Again, this is Hobby Lobby's I Love This Cotton.  It is just a great yarn that is perfect for this since it can be washed easily.
As always, if you're doing a 12 in 12 project, let a girl know so I can check it out! 

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The "Oh! That's how you do it!"

Remember a few days ago when I mentioned being in a group of Rav that is sharing a hat pattern each month?  Well I took some time and really looked at the pattern....my first thought?  I don't know how to do that!  My second though?  Well, why don't I learn!  So I did!  There is a reason why I named this hat "Oh! That's how you do it!" hat on my project page on Rav.

I used Sunflower Yarns' Grab Bag Grey and the pattern is from Rheatheylia : The Divine Hat.  (sidenote, she has some wicked cute patterns up on her page, I will probably work through all of them...).  The most important thing I can say is that when you do the slip stitch to join, do it to the beginning front post double crochet and then follow the suggested join instructions.  For whatever reason, I didn't figure that out until like round 8 or something so my joins up to that point are a bit wonky. 
I really love how you can make ridges using a front post double!
The ridges kind of spiral down...this is right before I started the border.
Laid flat...it looks wonky but that is due to the yarn (it is 100% wool so it really needs blocked correctly) and the fact that my rounds were not joined right for the first part of the hat....when it is on, it is actually really cute and fun!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Hello, my name is Andrea and I.....

....Have an obsession of colorful crafty tools.  Perfect example?  My knitting needle holder....you know, the newer one - I should note here that I have three knitting needle holders & two crochet hook holders.  I've grown my collection that started with the ones I learned on that my grandma gave me (most of those are tucked away somewhere safe), then my mom gave me some to fill in the gaps, and, finally, I have gotten a BUNCH from estate auctions.  The perks of going to auctions around the farm is that the women made a lot of stuff at home which translates to being able to get antique crafty bits!  I bought a stool once that had a storage bin in it full of knitting needles, vintage tape measures, reallllly old needle books full of sharps, etc!  I was in heaven going through it all!  And I only spent a DOLLAR on it!  Auctions are the best!

I digress though....I have decided that I need to learn more knitting stuff.  I have the knit/purl stitch down (though I still do them backwards) but I would like to learn cables and different stitches that just are not available in crochet.  Well, I opened the holder I keep in my travel bag and fell in love with all the colors all over again!  I mean, seriously, how cute is all of this?

I've tried to keep at least one set of the main sizes in this holder so they go from 1's to 10's or 15's I think....
Colors of the rainbow!!! 
See those green size 8's right there?  Those are the very first knitting needles I ever held and learned on.  And the two sets of wood ones on the left?  Also size 8's - they're my attempt to branch out from the metal knitting needle world.  I also have some acrylic rounds and bamboo dpn's to practice stuff on!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

My horoscope today....

....is rather fitting considering that I finally, after months, shared my little store with my family and friends last night via facebook....

"It is never too late to get started on a different path in life. If you have something that interests you -- a new hobby, a new career, or a new weight goal -- you should pursue it. Don't let your age, income or current status in life restrict you. Every day offers a new opportunity, a new set of choices to make -- and this day is no different. If you want to make a change, make it. Stop working so hard to come up with excuses. You know you can do it, so do it!"

Bookworm Wednesday!

Welcome to the first Bookworm Wednesday of the new year!  This is one of my favorite things about this blog.  I really just love sharing what I'm reading and loving with you all!!

This week I thought I would share a book that is a vital part of my 2012 and this blog - Hobo Quilts by Debra Henninger.  When I started planning my monthly quilt block I was thinking about the final product...just 12 quilt blocks?  Really?  Unless you make MASSIVE blocks it is hard to do much with just 12 blocks...so then I started looking at quilt books that have a variety of blocks with a unified theme.  I found The Farmer's Wife, Civil War Diary Quilt, The Civil War Love Letter Quilt, and Hobo Quilts.  I chose Hobo quilts because, well, I feel rather like a hobo at this point...but also because I *love* that the blocks are based off of actual signs and writings that hobos used when traveling in the old days.  Each book tells stories and shares letters from the people that lived during the time periods of the books which just make them more special in my eyes!

Now how does this play into my year and 12in12?  Well, I'm getting my patterns from this book....only instead of doing just one block each month, I will be doing 3!  The patterns are written for only about six inch blocks so I will get to play with borders and grids between the blocks in construction that I haven't done in a quilt yet.  How else did I know this book was perfect?  There are precisely 38 blocks in the book that are made in traditional piecing fashion...and two of them I didn't particularly like, so that left me with 36!  36 divided by 3?  Why, that's 12!  haha, it was meant to be! 

Since I didn't want to buy the book (because, well, I'm broke.) quite yet, I checked it out from the library and I've been drafting the blocks into this journal so I can write entries with each block that I've made.  I love journaling/scrapbooking about my quilts!
See?  I can draft the pattern (using super contrast-y sharpies!) so that I have the measurements right there with layout for the block, and then on the second page I can write away!  :)  I should also add that these are *not* the colors I'm using, just needed contrast so I knew how many fabrics I would need for each block.  I'm really pumped to show the fabrics soon!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Like a willow blowing in the wind....

I've been thinking a lot lately.  Thinking about what is the "right" thing to do, what is what I "want" to do.  How have I been dealing with this?  I ignore it.  I'm pretty good at ignoring my own thoughts most of the time....I ignore ignore ignore until I can't anymore.  Well, I'm going to say something that I haven't uttered out loud to anyone, not even my own face in the mirror.

I am 99% sure I'm going to move back to the farm.  And soon.  Like February or March.

There isn't anything keeping me here in Dayton at this point.  But, there also isn't anything that would keep me there.  I'm feeling very light & breezy in the sense that I could go anywhere at this point.  I've looked at places like Savannah, GA or Ontario or even France.  Could you really see me living there?  Could you see my little 'ol country bumpkin heart moving to some place like that?  While I think there are more job opportunities in Dayton than there are in Ross County, they obviously don't want me or else I would have a job by now.  And moving doesn't mean that I can't move back.  Right?  All it is is moving possessions from place to another....and that can be undone.  The only thing that I would feel like I'm leaving behind would be about 3 friends, and my lovely apartment that is so very much my heart's home.  When I moved here, it felt like I was coming home for the first time since we moved from my childhood home when I was 19.  I moved here thinking that this was where I was supposed to be....but is it where I was supposed to be for just the amount of time I've been here?  How would you think this through? 

(let me add this disclaimer....I've just spent the last couple of weeks supporting my ldb move from her life long home of SC to Jersey so just picking up and moving has been on my mind a lot!)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

12 in 12! Month 1, Week 1 - Crochet Square!

HI!  Welcome to my little project!!  This week I did a crochet square from the book "Beyond the Square" by Edie Eckman using Hobby Lobby's I Love This Cotton.

Now, I had planned to do biiiiiiig squares, like 12 or 15 inch square, but I couldn't find any I liked until after I did this little square.  It is about 6-ish inches and I just love how the yarn put a little pattern in it (see how the green worked its way around the edge kinda perfectly? 

Are you doing a 12 in 12?  Leave me a comment letting me know so I can check it out!  :)

Quick little post....

Hello!  I have a general update due tomorrow and then my first 12n12 post!  I made my crochet square yesterday and it came out really cute!  I'm excited to share!!

Anyway, I just wanted to post these two songs that have been on repeat in my head for days now!  They each have some lyrics that hit me hard this week for whatever reason....

"Sadness has me at the end of the line, 
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine, 
And loneliness only wants you back here with me, 
Common sense knows you're not good enough for me...."

"Trying to live and love,
With a heart that can't be broken, 
Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can't be opened,
Yeah, we both carry baggage, 
We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,
And I will do the same..."

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Let's talk about monogomy.

Alright guys & gals.  I had a rather interesting, and if we're being honest partly humorous, conversation with my best friend at lunch the other day.  We were discussing my relationship status and the lack of committed relationships in my life. 

I know that I've posted before about my non-existent relationships and how I tend to find guys that are not good for me but when you're talking to a best friend about it you tend to realize how odd it may seem to others.  I mean, she gives me a totally honest and open opinion on things that I may not see.  Every single guy I have liked for years, like since high school, has either been in a relationship already or definitely did not want a relationship.  Well, the random statement of me not being "not a monogamous kind of girl" was said.  And, really, that's kinda true.  I rather like not having to deal with allllllll the bullshit that comes from a relationship.  I kinda appreciate the fact that I can just be like, I don't want to deal with you whining about something, you can go talk to your girlfriend about that.  I kinda like being the fun one, the one that gets to do the random car trips, the one that just gets to watch movies and hang out, the one that doesn't have to deal with the teeeeeny tinnnny details of life.  I'm rather good at being the other girl in the picture.  I hate it because, well, I'm the other girl and I don't want to run around ruining relationships, but I'm good at it. 

Now, while I'm not a person that totally understands polygamy and all that it entails, I do respect the fact that someone has chosen that lifestyle.  I respect the fact that gay man can be a gay man in this world.  I respect the fact that people will love how they choose, so how am I different in how I've chosen, these last few years, to be a little different?  Do I want a relationship?  Do I want someone that will be there with me through thick and thin?  Do I want someone to be there during all the family functions?  Sure.  But, what if I can get all the things that I want with someone that maybe has another relationship or with someone that doesn't want to be committed?  Does that set me back a million years in the women's movement?  Does that make me a horrible person?  If I have a comfortable situation going on where I'm happy, he is happy, and we are happy together, then why change that? 

Now, all of this wouldn't be on my mind as much as it has been except that a guy that I used to be with (who had a girlfriend and was my ex's best friend...it was a tiny bit complicated...) just left his girlfriend of years a few days ago.  And he emailed me today.  He wants to hang out.  I'm scared that now that the situation is different (he's single and is no longer friends with my ex), we will be different.  I mean, we are going to be different because it has been years since we hung out, but how will our interactions will be different.  What's funny is that when I saw his relationship status change on Facebook the other day, it was the day before I met my bestie for lunch to chat.  I even said to her that if he and I did get together, I would almost expect him to cheat just based off his past actions; I mean, he did cheat on his girlfriend with me after all.  Isn't that horrible to say?  That you would expect someone to cheat?  But, that's where the "am I monogamous" thing came up.  I just question how monogamous people, as animals/creatures, supposed to be.  Aren't we meant to breed?  Aren't we meant to create offspring so that our lineage continues on?  I just wonder how much of that is just in our DNA as animals.  Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks about these things....haha

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ruhhhh roooooh

I totally spent like all of yesterday thinking it was Monday & blanked on posting my first 12n12!  Sooooo, let's just start this Sunday, deal?  I will also be taking a week's break with Bookworm Wednesday this week to work on Scarlett Key stuff :)
To make up for this, I'm going to share the page from New Years Eve that I put in my journal....enjoy <3

Sunday, January 1, 2012


Hey guys, take a peek over at Susannah's blog and you might see a familiar name there for the month!!!

She's a lovely girl that has what I think each blogger needs...a love for supporting others that blog and have small handmade stores!!  I can't wait for the day when I'm in a position that I can help others in a similar fashion :)